The Brooklyn Kid's First Mailbag.

By Rico Bautista

     Over the past two weeks, I've received a few emails and personal questions concerning this blog. Mostly, they've been questions such as "why haven't you written about the [insert team name here] yet?" or "what do you think of [insert player name here] this season?" The most common question has probably been, "when is OBT (Oh, Believe That) going to do a Power Rankings?" I figured the best way to address all of these questions is to do one big mailbag. So here we go... but before we get there, its time for...

Derp of the Day!
     Being LaMarcus Aldridge. Why? Because you let Byron Mullens of all people do this to you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXuDra2tG7w. Runner up for Derp of the Day: Whoever on the Brooklyn Nets is loosing minutes to 38-year-old Jerry Stackhouse.... Josh Childress? Come on, man.

"Yo, so who do you think the hardest players in the NBA are? If you had to name a starting 5 on a Thug-Star team, who would you pick?"--Jefferson from Memphis.

     Love this question. There are a number of wild characters in the NBA, but if I was creating a starting 5 out of the most hotheaded/intimidating/hardest players, it would look something like this:

     Point guard: Rajon Rondo. First off, have you ever actually listened to [white] NBA announcers try to pronounce Rondo's first name? I've heard everything from Rah-jonn to Ray-jon and depending on which timezone the Celtics are playing in, the pronunciation always seems to change. In my experience, the more heavily influenced by ebonics a player's name is, the tougher the character. Now at 6'1 and 185 lbs. I admit that Rondo is probably one of the least physically intimidating point guards in the league. But what Rondo lacks in size, he more than makes up for in grit and demeanor. I have no recollection of Rondo ever having smiled on camera--and yes, that includes when Boston won the Championship in 2008 (he might've smirked, but I doubt it). Much like the rest of the C's, Rajon Rondo is not a player to be trifled with or rubbed the wrong way. He's one of those rare talents that elevates his game when he's pissed off. We've all seen him do it--he puts on the Rondo-Scowl, locks his jaw in place, plays scrappier defense, gets all kinds of deflections, causes turnovers, and even becomes a better passer (every dime he connects on almost looks like a "fuck you" assist). You also have to respect that despite his size, Rondo will step to anyone. Anyone. Be it Dwyane Wade: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEMu-GLYauA Or Kris Humphries: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-DyyV1pt4k. Or DEMARCUS COUSINS??: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-wbrYhdHxg. Or even the NBA officials themselves: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQgt7U-bhzU. Rondo is no punk... I think playing with the likes of Kevin Garnett (a classic NBA head-case) since your rookie year can have that kind of effect. Runner ups: Jameer Nelson and Eric Bledsoe.

     Shooting guard: Tony Allen. Aside from allegedly breaking a man's eye socket in 2005 and punching out former teammate OJ Mayo over an unresolved gambling debt on a plane, Tony Allen's off-court antics have been generally kept to a minimum. But I'M concerned with his on-court antics. Allen was almost unanimously selected as this season's Player Most Fit for a Straight Jacket best perimeter defender by coaches around the NBA and for good reason. As if playing a harassing, all-in-your-jersey style of defense wasn't enough, Allen is rumored to trash talk and even mutter disturbing phrases to opposing players he's guarding. Rest assured, if the dingo didn't eat your baby, it most certainly could've been Tony Allen... that's a Seinfeld reference for all you noobs out there: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghCTZF61ey0. Runner ups: JR Smith and Stephen Jackson.

     Small forward: Before I reveal my pick, I'd like to give an honorable mention to the man who has always been the King of Cray in the NBA at the small forward position: Ron Artest. Much to everyone's disappointment, Artest hasn't been the crazy, unstable fire-starter we all used to retweet since that 2010 Championship with the Lakers. Artest's unpredictability has always been directly linked to the triggers that get him hyped on-court. These triggers occur when Artest has a good game (rare these days) or when someone gets in Artest's face (even rarer). The lack of these triggers have led to a more docile, more pacified Metta World Peace. Unless Tony Allen karate chops World Peace in the jugular at some point in the near future, I think we'll have seen the last of Ron Artest in that unforgettable post-Championship interview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMCeZK3OiKM. This interview was 100x more memorable than the fact that Artest scored 20 points in Game 7. RIP Artest, your fans miss you. 

     Moving on, the man I'd have at this position is none other than Michael Beasley. Is it because Beasley is a notorious trash talker? Nope. Is it because he's known for starting fights? Not in the least. If anything, he seems pretty mellow. The reason I picked Beasley is because he came into the league with the ability to become a left-handed Carmelo Anthony, but never fulfilled his potential because he was either a) always too high, b) just didn't care or c) was just too high to care. Frankly, I'm not talking about the time when Beasley cited for 16.2 grams of marijuana possession during his time in Minnesota, nor am I referring to when he checked into a rehabilitation clinic during his early years in Miami. Rather, I think he literally tokes up before games--if you look at his shot selection, let alone his face, the guy just always looks zooted. Like Marquis-Daniels-zooted. Like Josh-Howard-zooted. Do me a favor: just google "Michael Beasley + drugs" and see what comes up. Runner ups: Josh Smith and Caron "Stank Eye" Butler.

     Power Forward: Demarcus Cousins. He's been top 5 in the NBA in technical fouls for his first three years and is currently tied for 1st in techs this season with Carmelo Anthony. He led the NBA in ejections his rookie season. He has one of the poorest attitudes and is arguably the hardest player to coach in the league--just ask former Sacramento Kings Coach Paul Westphal, who was fired because he and Cousins did not see eye to eye. Yet, none of these reasons are why I have Cousins as the starting power forward on the Thug-Stars. The biggest reason starts with Cousins trash talking Tim Duncan in a game. Like most NBA fans in their 20s, I abhor watching Tim Duncan's old man game. Be that as it may, if there was an Eagle Scouts Club in the NBA, Duncan would be the Founder, CEO, and Lead Scout. "There's no classier player in the NBA"--I've literally heard every NBA announcer say that phrase almost verbatim. So yeah, Cousins trash talks that guy. The story doesn't end there though. Spurs Legend Sean Elliot happened to be announcing the game when he noticed Cousins chirping at Duncan. Always the gentleman, Timmy obviously did not respond, but proceeded to score a few buckets on Cousins and block one of his shots. Here is Elliot's coverage of that exchange (keep in mind that Elliot is a local television announcer for the Spurs, so no one outside of Spurs/NBA fans from Texas heard this--including anyone from Sacramento): "That’s why some humility is in order. You think you’re dominating Tim Duncan, you get it stuffed right back in your face. Timmy doesn’t like to talk trash," Elliot said on the air, via Spurs Nation. "But if guys start talking mess to him, he’s going to respond. All that trash talking was premature. I’m not about to let these guys off the hook. Young ballclub should learn from this. Don’t start talking and flapping your gums against one of the greatest players ever. He’s going to make you pay. Tell me who got the best of this exchange.” Not that bad, right? Just some color commentary from a former pillar of the Spurs franchise defending the greatest pillar of the Spurs franchise against an immature player. What does Cousins do? He hears about the comments and confronts Elliot after the game resulting in a two game suspension without pay. Bravo, Cousins--you're officially the most entertaining big man in the NBA since Rasheed Wallace. Runner ups: David West, Zach Randolph, and Kevin Garnett.

   
     Center: Kendrick Perkins. I mean, just look at him. 

     Bench: Rasheed Wallace (tied for 3rd in the NBA in technical fouls this season despite averaging under 15 min per game. Even so, none of them hold a candle to this classic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in-W5OuCmS4. You stay classy, 'Sheed.) Gerald Wallace, Reggie Evans (toughest screener in the league), and Alonzo Gee.

"Who are your picks for MVP/Scoring Champ/Defensive Player of the Year/Most Improved/Coach of the Year/Rookie of the Year?"--Christian from Brooklyn (brrap! brrap!).

     MVP: In reality? LeBron James. In my dreams? Carmelo Anthony. But oddly enough, I'm actually going to go with the guy who is leading LeBron in every relevant statistical category with the exception of field goal percentage, assists-per-game, and rebounds-per-game (where their stats are separated by 0.2 boards) Kevin Durant. Have you seen him this season? He's on my fantasy team so I've been able to follow him a little closer and all I have to say is that in his 6th season, KD has become much more than just a scorer. His leadership is affecting all aspects of Oklahoma City's success and with James Harden's departure, it could not have come at a better time. Durant's defense has vastly improved (1.6 steals-per-game and 1.6 blocks-per-game) and his assists-per-game (4.3) are a career-high. It may also be said that these improvements have come as a result of Durant having to perform more of the heavy lifting with Harden being out, but either way it does not make his output this season any less impressive.

     Scoring Champ: Teams have learned to key in on James Harden and aside from Chandler Parsons (who knew?), there is no other player on the Rockets who can really go get their own shot. So it won't be him. I originally had Carmelo Anthony finishing as the scoring champ and if this current Knicks roster remained the same for the rest of the season, he most certainly would get it. But Amare Stoudemire and Iman Shumpert's return will take shots away from Melo, as well as JR Smith, so I don't see him getting it. I'm going with Kobe Bryant because whether the Lakers win or lose, you already know Kobe gon' get  his shots! You can't really hate on him though--like last season, his front court is still a disappointment, but unlike last season, he's at least shooting at a decent percentage.


     Defensive Player of the Year: Serge Ibaka. 'Nuff said. I also think he could beat up anyone who has ever existed, except maybe Willam Wallace.

     Most Improved: It's gotta be Jrue Holiday. He's doubled his assists-per-game from last  season to 9.3 and is scoring 5 more points-per-game while playing only 4.3 more minutes. Other possibilities? Serge Ibaka, but he probably won't get DPOY and Most Improved. Greivis Vasquez has looked like a legit starter now that he's 5th in the NBA in assists-per-game with 8.7. And Anderson Varejao's new nickname should be "Windex." Why? Because he cleans the glass. But seriously, 15.4 rebounds-per-game is monstrous. If OJ Mayo gets the nod I won't be shocked, but I will be furious--he's starting on a Dirk-less Mavs team and is getting significantly more minutes than he did in Memphis. Of COURSE he's putting up more points, who else is going to take those shots with Dirk out...?? Oh that's right--their second best scorers after Mayo are Vince Carter (who is 35 years old) and Chris Kaman (who looks like 35 year old fetus). 

     Coach of the year: Lionel Hollins. However, if the Nets win the Atlantic, it could very well be Avery Johnson.

     Rookie of the year: Damian Lillard. Unless Anthony Davis makes a run, none of the other rookies are even in the same atmosphere right now. 

"Who do you have becoming a first time All-Star this year?"--Jesus from The Bronx.

First time All Stars: 

-Jrue Holiday if there's any justice in the world.

-Jeremy Lin because there is no justice in the world.

-Call me biased as a Knicks fan, but behind Joe Johnson and Monta Ellis (ugh), JR Smith is probably the 3rd best shooting in the East right now.

-Brook Lopez... Although he really should be averaging more than 6.8 boards. Though at least he's getting 2.5 blocks-per-game. 

-James Harden without question. He might even start. 

-Kyrie Irving. And I hope he shows up dressed as Uncle Drew.

-OJ Mayo. 

-Jamal Crawford. Much like JR Smith, even though Crawford has been coming off of the bench he's been one of the best shooting guards in the league and is leading the Clippers in scoring with 17.6 per game.

-Stephen Curry/David Lee. Both guys are putting up great numbers, but I doubt more than one Golden State player gets voted in. I hope its Curry.

-Rudy Gay should get in. And it'll be a damn shame if he doesn't.

"How have you not written anything on the Knicks yet? Seriously."--Jacob from "Fuckin'" Pehlam, NY.

1. Because I don't want to jinx it.
2. I'm waiting for the away game against Miami. Stay tuned.

"When is OBT going to do a Power Rankings? You should get on that."--Ben from "De City" (I think this means D.C.)

     For the record, I haven't done a Power Rankings yet because of teams like the Charlotte Bobcats. The 'Cats started out at 7-5, which is deceiving because they had the easiest schedule in the league for their first dozen games. Now that about a fifth of the season has gone by, there's been an appropriate litmus test for each team and I have a better idea of where they all stand. 

1. Thunder
2. Miami (I know it's "no big deal" that you lost to the Wizards... but you still lost to the Wizards.)
3. Memphis
4. Knicks 
5. LA Clippers (most dangerous team in the league, hands down. Unfairly stacked.)
6. San Antonio 
7. Nets
8. Warriors
9. Hawks
10. Chicago
11. Celtics
12. LA Lakers (LOL.)
13. Philadelphia (probably regretting losing Iguodala.)
14. Rockets
15. Jazz
16. Nuggets (lack of three-point shooters is killing this team.)
17. Timberwolves (going to jump another level when Rubio gets back in 1-2 weeks.)
18. Pacers
19. Mavericks
20. Bucks
21. Trailblazers
22. Bobcats (JR Swish sends his regards.)
23. Magic (I'm mesmerized that these guys already have 7 wins.)
24. Phoenix
25. Pistons
26. Raptors
27. Hornets... I mean, Pelicans.
28. Cavaliers
29. Kings
30. Wizards (I still can't believe I had them making the playoffs. John Wall will not save them.)