Merry Swishmas!

By Christian Baber

           Last year at this time, the NBA was nearing the start of a season shortened by lockout. Nearly two months of professional basketball were lost as fans suffered the fallout from the standoff between NBA owners and the NBA Players Association. Opening Day mercifully came on Christmas morning, and the games did not disappoint. Santa spoils us again this year with a fantastic line of games this December 25^th, but I can’t help but shake the boxes early. I want to know what the gifts are already, even if I can’t actually see them until Yule afternoon. With that in mind let’s take a look at five gifts we might be receiving in the five games we will be watching this Xmas, as well as five lumps of coal we might deserve for any naughtiness Santa kept on his list:

12:00pm – Boston Celtics at Brooklyn Nets

           The Celtics, fresh off a win over the Cleveland Cavaliers, will visit the Barclays Center to challenge the Brooklyn Nets. Brooklyn has found itself in a bit of a tailspin since Brook Lopez lost a few games to injury. The Nets have won just two of their last ten games, and the volatile New York media is beginning to voice concerns over the core of this team.

            A multiple-overtime battle would be great gift from this game. Both the Celtics and the Nets are prone to hilariously inept play down the stretch in tight games this season. If you haven’t seen Rondo pulling up from midrange in an attempt to gain the lead at the buzzer or Coach Avery Johnson’s dogged love of isolation in crunchtime despite the passing ability of Deron Williams and Joe Johnson, you have been missing out. Both teams are hovering around .500 basketball right now, and a dogfight barfight between two division opponents makes for great games.

            Deron Williams is the lump of coal here. Williams has been far from a superstar this season, shooting below 40% from the field and 30% from three despite taking 15 field goal attempts per game. That kind of inefficiency ill fits a player considered by many to be an elite point guard. More worrying is the fact that he’s been shooting poorly for a few years now, making it difficult to chalk this up to injury or a cold spell. Brooklyn can’t hope to seriously contend while Williams builds expansive brick structures on the court. His recent implications that the coaching staff isn’t putting him in a position to succeed aren’t helping, either.

3:00pm – New York Knicks at Los Angeles Lakers

       The Lakers get another crack at the East-leading Knicks in a duel between Kobe Bryant and Carmelo Anthony, the two NBA-leading scorers. A hard foul and the subsequent injury held Melo to just under 30 minutes last time these two clubs met, though he torched the Lakers for 30 points on 15 shots in that time. He’ll look to help his team repeat their dominating win over LAL in Madison Square Garden earlier this month.

      The greatest gift we could ask for from this game is a vintage scoring performance from Kobe in Staples Center. Kobe is enjoying the most efficient scoring season of his career at a young 34 years of age and a big scoring night in a revenge game against a strong Eastern conference power will help allay the fears of restless Laker fans. Of course, it will really only matter if the boys in purp’ and gold take home the W. Wins have been in short supply in the disappointing start to the Lakers’ season. Also something to look for: Kobe will be wearing the Christmas colorway of his new Kobe 8 sneakers against New York. The Christmas Kobe 8s will be among the most attractive looks the sneaker will come in, and Bryant will look good no matter the outcome of the game in his signature shoe. Good on you, Bean.

      The lump of coal in this game is definitely Antawn Jamison. I wanted to put Chris Duhon here, but with Nash likely returning to the Lakers’ starting lineup Jamison becomes the more woeful rotation player. The power forward shoots a disappointing 44% from the field and couples that with mediocre rebounding, incessant chucking from the three point line (where he’s shooting 31%), near inability to draw fouls, and possibly the worst big man defense in the league. Asking Jamison to cover a pick and roll is akin to offering your opponent a layup line, as Antawn lacks the athleticism, basketball IQ, and desire to offer even the most basic hedges off screens. Look for Jamison to build upon his -4.6 plus/minus average on the season against the Raymond Felton-Tyson Chandler pick and roll.

5:30pm – Oklahoma City Thunder at Miami Heat

        This has the potential to be the most exciting game of the day. A Finals rematch between OKC and MIA in Miami starring Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, Serge Ibaka, LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh. Durant has somehow ascended to a new level this season, and for the first time in years there should be a legitimate debate over who truly is the best player in the world.

        This game is gift enough. What more could you honestly ask for? The only thing I ask for is a close game, leading to a good ol’ fashioned score-off between KD and LeBron. Durant’s improved court vision and LeBron’s ingenious mastery of defense from the paint out to 25 feet are both incredible to watch but we really just want to see these guys outdo each other as scorers. As good as these two teams are, we just may get our wish.

      It’s difficult to find a lump of coal here with so many great players on both sides. I guess there is no coal in this stocking… Oh, wait, here’s Dexter Pittman. Pittman has only played seven minutes of pro basketball this season. The most memorable moment of his professional career was a despicable bush-league hit on Lance Stephenson during the 2011-2012 playoffs. Boo this man.

8:00pm – Houston Rockets at Chicago Bulls

        James Harden and the Rockets head to Chicago to face Joakim Noah and the Bulls. CHI has been surprisingly good this season, winning despite the continued absence of their superstar guard Derrick Rose. Their stellar defense has survived, but it will be tested against the backcourt tandem of Jeremy Lin and Harden.

       Maybe this is just me, but the gift here is clearly watching Harden work on offense. It was absurd to question whether the hyper-efficient scorer deserved a max contract, and he is cementing his status as a star guard this season. Harden’s advanced basketball IQ and athleticism allow him to take the shots he wants from the defense, and he possesses arguably the best step-through drive in the league. Focus on Harden running off screens, gathering the ball, and hopping right past the second line of defense for layups or witness the Beard play off the ball and spot up for three. The choice is yours, and either option is sweet.

       The entire Bulls team is the lump of coal here. Their defense is dominant, but watching Chicago grind out wins can get a little dull. If Harden isn’t able to put on a show here, enjoy watching Chi-town exert their third slowest pace in the league and lack of showtime athleticism.

(An acceptable alternative for this game’s lump of coal is the basketball gods for taking Derrick Rose away from us.)

10:30pm – Denver Nuggets at Los Angeles Clippers

       The final game of the evening stands a chance at being secretly the best experience. By 10:30, all those irritating old relatives who think they know hoops better than they actually do will all have gotten the itis and gone to bed.  Those of us able to stay awake will be treated to some of the best athletes in the league taking flight. It doesn’t hurt that these are both good teams as well.

       This game’s gift will be an array of show stopping dunks. Andre Iguodala, Kenneth Faried, JaVale McGee, Blake Griffin, DeAndre Jordan, and Eric Bledsoe are all dunk artists. If I was a rim, I would be very afraid of being broken in half during this night’s bout between the Nuggets and the Clippers. Both teams have great passers to set up dunk attempts, so here’s hoping for Andre Miller competing to see if Chris Paul can usurp his title as Best Lob Passer in the NBA (I just made this title up, but Dre’s probably still holding it).

       This game’s coal will almost certainly be Caron Butler. Butler lives on a steady diet of long twos and brussel sprouts. He is among the least fun-to-watch forwards in the NBA. No great athleticism. No deadly handle. No amazing passing ability. No, Tuff Juice just brings his lunch pail, defends a little bit, and takes jumpers. And there is nothing wrong with that, but in a game featuring so many fun players I know he will be among the most boring. Yawn, Caron. I am unimpressed.

      All in all, this looks to be a great day for basketball fans. The NBA scheduled a great set of games for Christmas day and there will be a lot of excitement as the stars collide throughout the afternoon and evening. Grab your egg nog, throw on the TV, and don’t worry about all the relatives upset that you’re ignoring them. You all have cell phones, but Christmas only comes once a year. Here’s to hoops.